Resting As The Field of Awareness

During this time of “full stop,” there has been lots of time to rest, read and sit quietly in silent meditation.

Just recently something was revealed that came up to share with you…

While in meditation, the physical experiences and thoughts were given the space to be there just as it is, revealing a vast Field of Awareness. This Field had no beginning or ending and appeared to be the ground from which all movement was arising.

This Field of Awareness was similar to the sky in that whatever came up as experience “passed through” and did not affect the Stillness and Silence that was present.

What was being revealed was how different this was from what usually happens. In the past, this Field of Awareness was sensed more as the earth, and not the sky, where what arises was “being absorbed” and “taken on” instead of just passing through.

This was a major distinction! … The “sky” perspective came from resting as this Field of Awareness while something simply passes through…while the “earth” perspective came from narrowing the focus on what was arising and losing the perspective of the vast Field of Awareness while it was being seen through … this was a subtle form of “doing” … the result was my being absorbed into what was arising and taking it on … making it what was real, in that moment, instead of what is True and Real ... AHA!

Got the distinction? Does this resonate with you?

A huge burden was lifted in this Grace-full moment.

Now, anything that arises continues to gently pass through … living and dying in each moment …

Resting as this Lightness of Being … all is well …

As Richard and I regularly come over this hill towards Boulder (to my treatments), we experience this vast expanse of open space. Isn't it similar to the open “sky” as the Field of Awareness.

Nature has a way of reminding us of this Truth, doesn’t it?

Open the Window

Just a short, but sweet, sharing …

This morning I woke up in a lovely Radiance … feeling like a window was wide open. In this broad expanse was included all of those that have appeared, in this life, to have closed the door of their Heart to me.

This silent separation has been happening for some time.

Yes, “we are all One,” that is the Truth. But, here is where “two” has been … in me … for some time … unnoticed…tolerated…suffered patiently…

In seeing this, the Radiance freely poured through the “window” … through this apparent separation … until there was only Radiant Silent Oneness.

It seems that we all have this Window and can open it at any time to give way for this Love to shine forth from within.

I guess it is up to us, at any moment, to just simply … open the window…

All tempest has,

Like a navel,

A hole in its middle,

Through which

A gull can fly,

In silence.

-Anonymous

Resting Here

(This is the Rocky Mountains driving from Denver to Boulder)

Well, here we are in Denver, Colorado…the "mile-high" city. I’m here with Richard and also having time with Charlotte. She came up to visit with us while I’m here. Here we are at the look-out over Boulder’s beautiful valley with the Rockies behind us. We’ve been having a wonderful visit together.

It’s been lovely being here with Richard and his spiritual family here in Denver and in Boulder. In beginning of my stay, he took me to his meditation group held in one of the apartments in his building, as well as a group in Boulder. We also went to a recital of Eric Schnieder sharing with us the words of Hafiz, Rumi, Kabir and Adyashanti. Here he is along with the work he recited at the end of the program. It’s from Adyashanti…

Save your mentally manufactured tales of

Enlightenment-to-come for someone else’s ears.

The price to enter this love

is your hope for a better future.

We are not a crowd of beggars here.
You and I have been down that long, twisted road
all the way to its end.
Here we do not ask God for favors but instead celebrate the light in each other’s eyes.

So if you are ready to stop denying yourself
your own beauty
you have come to the right place.

Wake up now and praise this day.

When you realize that God’s eyes
are the one’s you are looking out of, and into.

Praise this day –

And with each breath you take
be filled with the golden arc of love
which announces the ending of
your argument with God.

Praise this day
simply because it exists
and sit down now in the warm skin
of your own lap;

for you are home

and it is time to rest

in the merciful light

of your own eyes.

　
I was so moved by this experience with Eric and the Heart-felt way in which he recited these words of Truth. This poem of Adyashanti, in particular, spoke to me deeply.

“It is time to rest…in the merciful light…of your own eyes…”

This brings us to the mid way point of my stay here in Denver and to what is happening that has slowed me down quite a bit.

As most of you know, I have been having a health challenge for some time and actually retired because of this.

While here, in Denver, I was referred to a health center in Boulder, where an evaluation and treatment were very revealing. The facts are… the adrenal system is compromised which affects everything in the body - which has been going on for a long time, evidently. The doctor's recommendation was to stop and not continue my journey as planned. The body is in a healing process right now, needing rest and tender loving care instead of the stress of travel. So, I will be staying on in Denver for a few months with Richard, who has been very kind and generous to provide a space for me.

As you can imagine, this news was not pleasant for me. There was so much that was coming up for me to do…life was now opening up to me and It was bringing me to so many lovely people and beautiful places. It was a “reality check” that I processed through (as we all know how to do) and cleared the space for “what’s so.” I am so grateful for Charlotte and Richard being with me in this, with such love and support.

So, these messages will keep coming to you, but now from more stillness than my usual activity.

Now, there is something that I would like to share with you. It has been revealing itself to me as I’ve been travelling, and it also has to do with this health issue…

While at Ocean, on Vancouver Island, I had lots of time alone to walk along the water and be in Stillness in my room. And, along with the treatments that Carolyn was giving me at that time, there was plenty of opportunity to allow insights to arise in Awareness. One insight came up to share with you that continues to be very significant for me.

Have you seen in your own experience, that when something is very tender to face, we can get busy in our life to cover it up? We are usually not intentional or conscious about it at the time. But, it’s actually a way of getting through the situation, because it was too sensitive to see the truth about it all at once. Know what I mean? Well, I see now something that I didn’t see then … when I booked this "around the world" trip there was something tender that I was covering up.

One facet of this revealed just before leaving Ocean. It was the deep grief that was there in losing my teacher and dear friend, Ramana. In the company of my dear friends there, this was gently uncovered and released.

The other facet of this “seeing through” was revealed here in Denver when the doctor gave me the news about my health situation. She said that it actually began as a child and I have learned to live with it along the way to get by. I developed a survival mechanism to make life work no matter what the limitations. It has fooled me and everyone else around me into thinking I am strong enough to do whatever is set before me. The pattern was unconsciously continued as I controlled the situation and everything appeared to be going well, until I would have another breakdown or illness. This pattern has "gotten me by" for a long time in this life. But now I am so grateful to have my finger on the pulse, and finally work through it.

So, allowing it all to be there, just as it is … I will now take it one step at a time. This time with a full seeing of what is best to allow a full healing to occur. Then, I can continue the rest of this life standing strong and in sound health. There have been so many people who have assisted me in this. And, my "Grace Bubble" is continuing to bring what is needed for this completion.

I’ll keep in touch as to how things are going. Please see the "happy end of the movie" with me…

“A complete rebirthing has occurred of sound health for this body… I am living light and free!”

Like this…

And, this…

The Goddess of Light

　

The journey of the night begins my opening of light.

Into the hands of love I am delivered.

Open arms, open heart, I am yours.

Take me and keep me in your embrace

That I may remember what I have never forgotten.

I know this place – why have I been gone so long?

I am all of you who danced in the summer seasons

To the bounty of the earth mother in spring.

Celebrated women we were then

All our gifts and dreams received and honoured.

I sing and dance to the rhythm of the earth, sky, moon and sun

I am the rhythm I am the dance I am the moon I am the sun.

Receive me again and I will honour you.

Help me, guide me, show me the way.

Christine M. Goyer-Swift

Thank you, my beloved family ... I Love You!

Loving Life As It Is

(Discovery Channel - A View from Ocean Resort on Vancouver Island)

“You do not have a life; there is only LIFE and it lives AS you and everything else.” Leo Hartong

Being here in Vancouver Island, B.C., Canada with Lucas and Cheryl and friends, has been just perfect. Since leaving N.C. in December, each step of the way has been divinely guided. I am in awe of the Grace that is present orchestrating each moment.

After being in the Jindal Health Center, in India, there was a health plan that they prescribed for me. Then, it was put into place first in Hawaii and now here. Cheryl and Lucas have also been given a similar health plan as mine from a program they offer here at Ocean Resort their “Spiritual & Wellness Retreat Center” called “Fresh Start.” One of the gifts of my being here is my getting cooking lessons from Cheryl and Lucas. And, getting all that this body is needing for healing in all areas. I am so grateful to them both for their constant support and unending generosity. Actually, my gratitude extends to all who are reading this blog…to all of you who have helped to make this trip possible.

So, here is Cheryl and, I in their kitchen, making “live” granola.

There are many other gifts that are happening from my being here. All the other times that I have come here, since 2003, was to give various AHAM programs. There was not much time to just “hang out” together or get to see the island due to my busy schedule. This time it is different. I have time to really bask in the serenity of this retreat center and receive a deep healing from the good company, the Stillness and Peace and the sunshine and fresh Sea air. So, this communication with you will highlight these gifts that came to me along the way over my three weeks stay here.

Initially, I would like to refer to the quote above from Leo Hartong. “You do not have a life; there is only LIFE and it lives AS you and everything else.” He and I were emailing to each other several years back and this is part of his message to me. It seems that it’s true meaning is coming into full fruition now.

As I am here with Lucas and Cheryl, as a part of their family, I am having the experience of “Life living me and everything else.” And, it is absolutely lovely! The experiences that are happening here are giving me an opportunity to celebrate life in so many different ways, with so many different people and situations. It is difficult to put into words what that is for me. But, my eyes are opening wide to all that is around me and I am seeing that which is living and breathing me now much like a current or wave that takes me from one moment to the next and into whatever expression that comes through me and all around me. It is the "wave" that directed me in what was needed for my family and for AHAM all those years. Bhagavan Ramana says this is "the giver of existence to the whole world"...this Existence that is Consciousness and Bliss...and, "You are THAT." This insight came together like puzzle pieces that have been seen for some time.

It feels so good to have a "finger on" this pulse of Life. It is so Grace-full. It is Pure Love and complete support. From this perspective one cannot help but love every moment of what is happening, no matter what it might be. All that remains now is deep gratitude.

So, let's start here at the Labyrinth, which was constructed on the back lawn of Ocean, in May 2009. It was a group effort and created out of driftwood gathered from the beach just by this center. While walking the labyrinth, one would take a situation or question into the center for completion. It is a very powerful experience and a great way to set the conscious intention for my stay here.

Dennis Gray, Ocean’s “handy man”, was the one who headed up the project up and was the one who climbed up a nearby Douglas Fir to get this picture of the labyrinth. The next picture is taken from another angle including the retreat rooms at Ocean.

The walks on the beach, just out in front of Ocean Resort, have been one of the highlights. Often you would see the cruise ships going north from Vancouver to Alaska.

There are so many "heart rocks" to be found on this beach...what a treasure.

Here are some of the folks that I had the opportunity to spend time with while here...

(Myself, Collette, Cheryl, Tina, Anne, Katherine, Mary.)

Here we are after a Sunday afternoon meditation at Ocean. It was a delightful experience for me, being in the guided process led by Lucas.

This is Carolyn. We met when at an I SIT given here in 2007. Carolyn has been very helpful in this time of "healing retreat" while here at Ocean. She does several forms of special treatments and was able to give me exactly what was needed in this healing process. What a sweetheart!

By the way, if you would like to see a live webcam located close to an eagle's nest here close by, check this out:

http://www.hornbyeagles.com/webcam.htm

Here's Lucas and Cheryl in their living room at Ocean.

I met Lucas in India at an I SIT in 2003. He invited AHAM to come to his resort to do a program and we have done programs here each year since. Lucas has become like a brother to me. I met Cheryl also in India at AHAM's ashram and we became immediate friends. Here is a poem that she wrote while I was here that she gave me permission to share with you...

I choose happiness.

Even when it means I must visit my deepest shadows,

lie sleepless through the dark night and wake weary to the call of love.

I choose happiness.

I welcome all of it.

The pain, the sorrow, the collective grief.

I welcome all of it,

knowing that in the seeing, in the experiencing

I am free.

I choose happiness

and in the joy of just simply being,

the love that I am expresses.

Both Lucas and Cheryl have contributed so much to so many through what has been given here at Ocean. If you would like to get more information on what they provide here go to their website at "oceanresort.ca".

This is Heather and Peter. They both have been to the AHAM programs at Ocean. We spent a lovely evening together walking in the woods and being with all the spring flowers that grow wild in the woods here.

And...we ate at an awesome restaurant called "Locals." The owner and chef is Ronald, who also came to the AHAM programs at Ocean. He came and sat with us at the table ...

As you can see, I am just so happy and love this gift of simply hanging out with my friends here on Vancouver Island. There were many other events and experiences that occurred but this blog has to stop somewhere. My visit here is coming to a close and I will be moving on to Denver, Colorado to be with Richard and friends there.

As I luxuriously sit here on Sunday morning writing to you, what comes up to say is "I Love You so much" and I am so happy to have this huge family of the Heart...that seems to be much more global than I could actually experience from the perspective of the Center in N.C...and, look forward to visiting you ALL, however that can happen.

As you probably have discovered yourself, there is a much bigger picture that is not seen with the naked eye, but can be seen very clearly from the Heart. It may just be a nudge that we feel...not an obvious clue. It is so important that we don't hesitate, but follow it and see where it takes us. Then, we may just get another clue...follow it...the path may then begin to make sense. Just know that in some way we are serving this "bigger picture" somehow in our continuing to follow our Heart. This is where everyone wins...it is certain...happiness for ALL mankind. YES!!

Somewhere Over The Rainbow: Dreams Really Do Come True

(At Kailua Beach, O'hau, Hawaii)

(North Shore of O'ahu)

Somewhere over the rainbow,

Way up high.

There’s a dream that you dreamed of

Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow,

Bluebirds fly,

And, dreams that you dreamed of

They really do come true.

This is a very fitting song for this visit to Hawaii. You can find it sung by IZ, who is a native Hawaiian, click on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I

Above were from a Hawaiian artist, Tabora. To me, his paintings have a mystical feeling to them..."over the rainbow" where dreams really do come true. This is a "dream," isn't it?

I am here in Kailua, on the island of O’ahu. Ted Suga, my host, has taken me all over this beautiful island from shore to shore. I met Ted at I SIT when he came to Vancouver Island, B.C. in 2007. He was born on this island and lived here all of his life.

Everywhere he has taken me is absolutely magnificent! I’ve never experienced anything so beautiful. This is truly a “dream come true,” one that I had wished for, but long forgotten, as a small girl. Isn’t it interesting how what is held near and dear to our Heart does eventually happen, in one way or another.

Here is the mountain of Olomana that is right behind Ted’s home. Every place in Hawaii is sacred, and I can certainly feel that when I look at this mountain. Ted said that it reminded him of Arunachala.

These are the Ko’olau Range mountains, paralleling for 37 miles on the eastern coast of O'ahu island. The range was formed by volcanic erruptions and has an average width of 13 miles (21 km).

Koʻolau Range is a name given to the fragmented remnant of the eastern or windward shield volcano of the island of O'ahu. The last time the volcano erupted was 10,000 years ago. It is not a mountain range in the normal sense, because it was formed as a single mountain called Koʻolau Volcano (koʻolau means "windward" in Hawiian)

What has been the most beautiful experience in being here, on this island of paradise, has been sharing in conscious company with Ted and his friends. We have met Heart to Heart as if we have known each other forever.

Sri Bhagavan says in The Ramana Gita, “On Society” where he shares that society is like one body and it’s limbs are all connected and work together as One. There appears to be difference, but we are all connected at Heart. I am so grateful to have had this very precious time to experience the Oneness in all that surrounds me.

Thank you, so much, Ted, for welcoming me into your homeland and allowing us to all experience it first hand.

One last precious view of the island ... here is the famous Diamond Head, at Waikiki, which is on the other side of the island from Ted’s home.

I am leaving on the 29^th of March for Vancouver Island, B.C., Canada. Lucas and Cheryl and all of our AHAM family on the island will be welcoming us into their corner of the world. Hope to see you there.

Love you all, from the bottom of my Heart.

Aloha!

The Mahatma

On my way out of India, I stopped over in Mumbai (Bombay) and had a day to see this unusual city. Evidently, it is the commercial capital of India and has 10% of India’s population on what is some of that is reclaimed land. There are no “homes” per se, there are just high rises to accommodate the people living in this bustling city.

One of the highlights for me, was to visit “Mani Bhavan” which was one of the few important places sanctified by Mahatma Gandhi’s close association. (See picture above) Significant discussions and decisions were made here with regards to India’s freedom movement. And, the unregistered weekly bulletin called “Satyagrahi” was issued from here. This is where he began his historic fast in 1921 and was arrested in 1932.

Mani Bhavan is where “Gandhi lived and conversed with his colleagues, molded the nation in the image of his cherished ideals of Truth and Non-violence and inspired his followers and devotees who went forth from here in the world, charged with the sense of service and sacrifice.”

As I walked through the building, the energy of his Presence was very prevalent. When Obama visited Mumbai just recently, this was where he visited first.

His wheel for spinning his kadhi cloth was still set up in one of the upper rooms.

Gandhi’s message still rings true for this day and age…timeless Truth…

“If there is a paradise on earth, it is here, it is here, it is here.”

“The very first step in non-violence is that we cultivate in our daily life, as between ourselves, truthfulness, humility, tolerance, loving kindness. The path of true non-violence requires much more courage than violence.”

“I believe in trusting. Trust begets trust. He who trusts has never yet been lost in the world.”

“I have learned this one lesson-that what is impossible with man is child’s play with God and if we have faith in that Divinity which presides on the destiny of the meanest of His creation, I have no doubt that all things are possible; and, in that final hope, I live and pass time and endeavor to obey His will.” – M.K. Gandhi

It's Always Inside Out

(A view from the Dining Hall at Jindal)

It's been a several weeks since we have shared together. The Jindal Healing Center required that we give up our laptops and concentrate fully on our healing process. They didn't take our cell phones, but we could only use them in our rooms. Reminds me of AHAM and the way we require one to focus fully while experiencing our programs.

I am now in Mumbai (Bombay), staying in a Holiday Inn, on my way to Hawaii. Wonderful!! Hot and cold running water, a soft bed, American food and all the comforts of home. And, of course, Wi-Fi. So here we are.

What to share about my experience at Jindal?... The care they gave went off the charts! They had assigned each of us a doctor that we see each day. The doctor tunes into the treatments that would be best for your situation and the food to eat. We had our schedule each day to follow through with and continue checking in with the doctor as to how the progress is going. The focus of the healing was from Naturopathy and coming back to allowing "nature to take it's course." So, by cleaning out the body is the first step and then the body can heal itself. And, their treatments all enhanced this process.

This was a huge "AHA!" for me. In our teaching, at AHAM, we reverse attention from at outward direction to following the natural inward flow into the Heart and give way to the Heart's Direction. Well, what was realized in this health program was the exact same process. What I had been doing regarding the situation with this body was to try all these different things "out there" and "hope" that something will work. It was a complete reversal, in Jindal, by going back to the source of the problem and allowing what is natural to take over. And, now it is just a matter of following the discipline of the process for a complete healing to occur. Just like we would do in our practice...staying with an "inside out" process no matter what arises until our Living from the Heart is happening naturally. Don't you love it?

We also were given Yoga as a way to heal the body and Pranayama. The one thing we all enjoyed the most was the Laughing Exercises that is supposed to be very healthy for the body-mind. It was great to have all 300 of us together at one time laughing our heads off for 15 minutes. When we finished each exercise we all acknowledged it by saying: "Very good! Very good! Very good! Ho Ho Ha Ha Ha." What a way to start the day. Here is a shot of us all together at 6:30 in the morning right before yoga ...

Here is a picture of myself and a new friend from Washington, D.C. I met people from all over the world. And, many of them were wanting information on having a meditation practice that would work for them. I was happy to give them our new website address...


Finally, I'd like for everyone to meet Dr. Mumtaj, the one who referred me to Jindal. She is starting up a place in Tiruavannamalai that has the same "nature cures" from Jindal. I am so grateful for her dedication to her "duty" as she calls it, and to her sending me to a place that truly works. She even came by bus to Jindal (8 hours) to check-in on me.

One final thing...

What was also realized in this experience is a key to releasing "body-mind identification." When we totally ignore the body-mind and "let it go" as I did, it will eventually scream out for attention, as it did. This is not the way to release body-mind identification. When we follow a health program, that works for us, we can begin to experience the body as a temple for the Heart to function in full alignment together. The merging of the two "body-mind and Heart" into One is the completion. What comes to mind was about Sri Bhagavan. During the surgery that he had on removing the cancer from his arm, as they were cutting away the skin, he was heard saying: "Poor arm" while he stroked it with tender loving care. There was complete Oneness with his arm..."not-two." This experience was his way of showing us that we don't ignore the body-mind, but love it and embrace it with our Awareness.

Ok, that's it for now...I'll write you from Hawaii. Ted Suga is my host and we have less than two weeks to see his beautiful island.

Love you all from the bottom of my Heart.