Our Heart Sanga

Here is the scene from my bedroom in Richard’s apartment. It is where I spend quite a bit of my time in meditation, resting and writing to you. Lovely, isn't it?

In the early morning, these writings just come through. It has been very much a part of the healing process to have this opportunity to write to you in this way. I haven’t sent you all of what has come through…I guess those are the ones that were just for me to see.

The healing treatments that I have been having in Boulder consist of time in what is called a “Life Vessel.” It is a way to balance the parasympathetic and the sympathetic nervous system and all that has been out of balance is brought to the surface and processed through. If you are interested, here is the information on the Life Vessel http://www.lifevesselarizona.com/new-video.html.

Initially, this treatment brought up the toxic load in the body, which was released through proper diet and colon therapy. The set of treatments that I just recently completed brought up the psychophysical aspects, which I am in the midst of clearing through now. These are from the traumatic experiences that were experienced and registered in this body and central nervous system which have affected the health of this body.

Many of you know Richard and his kind and gentle manner. Being here in his home has provided a perfect space to allow these tender places to be seen and processed through.

Just recently we watched a webcast with Sharon Salzburg, the author of “Loving Kindness.” She said, what is happening at this present time is bringing forth a “Meta Metta Sanga.” She defined it as “an all inclusive, universal, Loving Kindness Community.”

This is certainly what I am experiencing through this very sensitive time, as Richard and all of you who are being with me in the Heart.

The area being processed through right now has to do with all of the intolerable actions that happened to me in this lifetime. These were experiences that were somehow tolerated and I had learned to live with, so they were buried deeply. As I had shared in an earlier communication, the Self is coming back for it all in our Awakening process. So, as the scenes came up in Awareness and passed through, the Loving Presence of Awareness and our Sanga remained strong and steady. After several hours it all passed through. Being wide open with you now completes it somehow.

Put yourself in places where you can be exposed to others who are living their life from this Awake place. And, the rest is Grace. - Rita Marie Robinson

It’s such a wonderful realization to directly know and experience that no matter where we are or what is happening, this "Loving Kindness" or Heart Sanga is always here with us … in us, as us ... in so many significant ways.

Thank you, Richard!

Thank you ALL!!

Being Comfortable In Our Own Skin

This was a question, recently, that came up for me to be with ...

Do you feel “comfortable in your own skin”?

In this awakening process, we go through many stages. Many teachers say it is much like peeling an onion … we just get all of what we are not out of the way until we are basically down to nothing … pure emptiness … formless Awareness.

Many of us have discovered that is not the end of the process … it actually is only the beginning … and the final phase, whether we like it or not, is to bring what-we-are ... this “Nothingness” or “Formlessness” ... into a Whole Body Enlightenment. This is when our body-mind and Life reflect fully this Light of Awakened Awareness. Surprisingly, it actually is experienced as a fullness of Love for every ounce of this Livingness of Being ... a comfortable Presence in just being who I am.

Are we not discovering that if we do not follow this process all the way through, we are not allowing Self to Love Itself completely? Isn’t this why we were given this gift of Life? And, isn’t this what is being experienced when we are fully “Receiving the Being that we are?”

What I am sharing is not new … it is probably what has been floating around in Awareness for sometime. Does it ring true for you?

I’m just sharing what has become painfully apparent to me over these past few years. And, I say “painfully” because it is not always comfortable to fully receive, accept and love what is present as our direct experience, in life. This is when we would rather go back to sleep and detach from what is arising. I’ve found that this is what actually intensifies the pain.

So, the only way that we are truly freed from what is arising is to “see through” it … give it the space to arise in the Presence of Truth. In this complete acceptance and Pure Love, then, and only then, the Light of Awareness will be able to Gracefully receive it all back into Itself.

We don’t know how long this process will take for each one. What has been discovered is that it does make it easier if we cooperate with the process and not resist what is arising … giving it space is essential … and not trying to do anything to get rid of it … just letting it be and allowing the Divine Intelligence to take it all into Itself.

Remaining as the Field of Awareness … allowing it all to just pass through, and, what remains? … We feel comfortable in our own skin … feeling a contentment with who we are … what we are … where we are … right now in this moment … just as it is.

This is the Pure Love of Self shining through…radiating throughout this body….into our environment...in and through everything and everyone.

In completing this writing to you, I received this email from Cheryl. It is about her experience of being an instrument of this Love in a workshop she attended this past weekend. She gave me the ok to share it with you…

The first night (of the workshop), I realized that I knew as a small child that love is it. There is nothing else. It always seemed so simple to me. If we just love each other, there will be no lack, no fear, no war. I heard the call that night. The call I have heard my entire life. A call to step into that love, to be that love and leave all fear behind. You and I dear friend, are on the threshold of a new world. A world where “Love is our Religion”... Can you feel it?

The weekend was about activations and working with energy. The room was so bright, you didn’t even need light! We were 160 people not just loving, but being love. It was an incredible experience. At one point ... (the workshop leader) he stood in the middle of the room and asked the divine to clear all pain and suffering, in that room and beyond, through him. He said, “ My heart is big enough! I can do this for humanity.” He prayed for a long while and every word he uttered, I said with him. He surrendered completely and I surrendered with him. And at last I understood that in that complete and total surrender that all of us are vessels for clearing, for love and it is not “me” doing it.... We are instruments for the divine. Nothing to stick to me, nothing can hurt me in that place of total surrender. Such completion, such freedom, such release.

So much to share, but really don’t know where to start....

You keep shining your love from that still place where you are. I can feel your love all the way here and it is a beautiful gift to the world.

It appears as if we are all ready, willing and able to be instruments of this Presence of Love in magnificent ways. It is happening … we ARE the “change we want to see in the world.”

As a small child didn't we have this naturally?

Here is Radha, Teja and Ganga ... good reminders of this Love and comfort in just being ...

Resting As The Field of Awareness

During this time of “full stop,” there has been lots of time to rest, read and sit quietly in silent meditation.

Just recently something was revealed that came up to share with you…

While in meditation, the physical experiences and thoughts were given the space to be there just as it is, revealing a vast Field of Awareness. This Field had no beginning or ending and appeared to be the ground from which all movement was arising.

This Field of Awareness was similar to the sky in that whatever came up as experience “passed through” and did not affect the Stillness and Silence that was present.

What was being revealed was how different this was from what usually happens. In the past, this Field of Awareness was sensed more as the earth, and not the sky, where what arises was “being absorbed” and “taken on” instead of just passing through.

This was a major distinction! … The “sky” perspective came from resting as this Field of Awareness while something simply passes through…while the “earth” perspective came from narrowing the focus on what was arising and losing the perspective of the vast Field of Awareness while it was being seen through … this was a subtle form of “doing” … the result was my being absorbed into what was arising and taking it on … making it what was real, in that moment, instead of what is True and Real ... AHA!

Got the distinction? Does this resonate with you?

A huge burden was lifted in this Grace-full moment.

Now, anything that arises continues to gently pass through … living and dying in each moment …

Resting as this Lightness of Being … all is well …

As Richard and I regularly come over this hill towards Boulder (to my treatments), we experience this vast expanse of open space. Isn't it similar to the open “sky” as the Field of Awareness.

Nature has a way of reminding us of this Truth, doesn’t it?

Open the Window

Just a short, but sweet, sharing …

This morning I woke up in a lovely Radiance … feeling like a window was wide open. In this broad expanse was included all of those that have appeared, in this life, to have closed the door of their Heart to me.

This silent separation has been happening for some time.

Yes, “we are all One,” that is the Truth. But, here is where “two” has been … in me … for some time … unnoticed…tolerated…suffered patiently…

In seeing this, the Radiance freely poured through the “window” … through this apparent separation … until there was only Radiant Silent Oneness.

It seems that we all have this Window and can open it at any time to give way for this Love to shine forth from within.

I guess it is up to us, at any moment, to just simply … open the window…

All tempest has,

Like a navel,

A hole in its middle,

Through which

A gull can fly,

In silence.

-Anonymous

Resting Here

(This is the Rocky Mountains driving from Denver to Boulder)

Well, here we are in Denver, Colorado…the "mile-high" city. I’m here with Richard and also having time with Charlotte. She came up to visit with us while I’m here. Here we are at the look-out over Boulder’s beautiful valley with the Rockies behind us. We’ve been having a wonderful visit together.

It’s been lovely being here with Richard and his spiritual family here in Denver and in Boulder. In beginning of my stay, he took me to his meditation group held in one of the apartments in his building, as well as a group in Boulder. We also went to a recital of Eric Schnieder sharing with us the words of Hafiz, Rumi, Kabir and Adyashanti. Here he is along with the work he recited at the end of the program. It’s from Adyashanti…

Save your mentally manufactured tales of

Enlightenment-to-come for someone else’s ears.

The price to enter this love

is your hope for a better future.

We are not a crowd of beggars here.
You and I have been down that long, twisted road
all the way to its end.
Here we do not ask God for favors but instead celebrate the light in each other’s eyes.

So if you are ready to stop denying yourself
your own beauty
you have come to the right place.

Wake up now and praise this day.

When you realize that God’s eyes
are the one’s you are looking out of, and into.

Praise this day –

And with each breath you take
be filled with the golden arc of love
which announces the ending of
your argument with God.

Praise this day
simply because it exists
and sit down now in the warm skin
of your own lap;

for you are home

and it is time to rest

in the merciful light

of your own eyes.

　
I was so moved by this experience with Eric and the Heart-felt way in which he recited these words of Truth. This poem of Adyashanti, in particular, spoke to me deeply.

“It is time to rest…in the merciful light…of your own eyes…”

This brings us to the mid way point of my stay here in Denver and to what is happening that has slowed me down quite a bit.

As most of you know, I have been having a health challenge for some time and actually retired because of this.

While here, in Denver, I was referred to a health center in Boulder, where an evaluation and treatment were very revealing. The facts are… the adrenal system is compromised which affects everything in the body - which has been going on for a long time, evidently. The doctor's recommendation was to stop and not continue my journey as planned. The body is in a healing process right now, needing rest and tender loving care instead of the stress of travel. So, I will be staying on in Denver for a few months with Richard, who has been very kind and generous to provide a space for me.

As you can imagine, this news was not pleasant for me. There was so much that was coming up for me to do…life was now opening up to me and It was bringing me to so many lovely people and beautiful places. It was a “reality check” that I processed through (as we all know how to do) and cleared the space for “what’s so.” I am so grateful for Charlotte and Richard being with me in this, with such love and support.

So, these messages will keep coming to you, but now from more stillness than my usual activity.

Now, there is something that I would like to share with you. It has been revealing itself to me as I’ve been travelling, and it also has to do with this health issue…

While at Ocean, on Vancouver Island, I had lots of time alone to walk along the water and be in Stillness in my room. And, along with the treatments that Carolyn was giving me at that time, there was plenty of opportunity to allow insights to arise in Awareness. One insight came up to share with you that continues to be very significant for me.

Have you seen in your own experience, that when something is very tender to face, we can get busy in our life to cover it up? We are usually not intentional or conscious about it at the time. But, it’s actually a way of getting through the situation, because it was too sensitive to see the truth about it all at once. Know what I mean? Well, I see now something that I didn’t see then … when I booked this "around the world" trip there was something tender that I was covering up.

One facet of this revealed just before leaving Ocean. It was the deep grief that was there in losing my teacher and dear friend, Ramana. In the company of my dear friends there, this was gently uncovered and released.

The other facet of this “seeing through” was revealed here in Denver when the doctor gave me the news about my health situation. She said that it actually began as a child and I have learned to live with it along the way to get by. I developed a survival mechanism to make life work no matter what the limitations. It has fooled me and everyone else around me into thinking I am strong enough to do whatever is set before me. The pattern was unconsciously continued as I controlled the situation and everything appeared to be going well, until I would have another breakdown or illness. This pattern has "gotten me by" for a long time in this life. But now I am so grateful to have my finger on the pulse, and finally work through it.

So, allowing it all to be there, just as it is … I will now take it one step at a time. This time with a full seeing of what is best to allow a full healing to occur. Then, I can continue the rest of this life standing strong and in sound health. There have been so many people who have assisted me in this. And, my "Grace Bubble" is continuing to bring what is needed for this completion.

I’ll keep in touch as to how things are going. Please see the "happy end of the movie" with me…

“A complete rebirthing has occurred of sound health for this body… I am living light and free!”

Like this…

And, this…

The Goddess of Light

　

The journey of the night begins my opening of light.

Into the hands of love I am delivered.

Open arms, open heart, I am yours.

Take me and keep me in your embrace

That I may remember what I have never forgotten.

I know this place – why have I been gone so long?

I am all of you who danced in the summer seasons

To the bounty of the earth mother in spring.

Celebrated women we were then

All our gifts and dreams received and honoured.

I sing and dance to the rhythm of the earth, sky, moon and sun

I am the rhythm I am the dance I am the moon I am the sun.

Receive me again and I will honour you.

Help me, guide me, show me the way.

Christine M. Goyer-Swift

Thank you, my beloved family ... I Love You!

Loving Life As It Is

(Discovery Channel - A View from Ocean Resort on Vancouver Island)

“You do not have a life; there is only LIFE and it lives AS you and everything else.” Leo Hartong

Being here in Vancouver Island, B.C., Canada with Lucas and Cheryl and friends, has been just perfect. Since leaving N.C. in December, each step of the way has been divinely guided. I am in awe of the Grace that is present orchestrating each moment.

After being in the Jindal Health Center, in India, there was a health plan that they prescribed for me. Then, it was put into place first in Hawaii and now here. Cheryl and Lucas have also been given a similar health plan as mine from a program they offer here at Ocean Resort their “Spiritual & Wellness Retreat Center” called “Fresh Start.” One of the gifts of my being here is my getting cooking lessons from Cheryl and Lucas. And, getting all that this body is needing for healing in all areas. I am so grateful to them both for their constant support and unending generosity. Actually, my gratitude extends to all who are reading this blog…to all of you who have helped to make this trip possible.

So, here is Cheryl and, I in their kitchen, making “live” granola.

There are many other gifts that are happening from my being here. All the other times that I have come here, since 2003, was to give various AHAM programs. There was not much time to just “hang out” together or get to see the island due to my busy schedule. This time it is different. I have time to really bask in the serenity of this retreat center and receive a deep healing from the good company, the Stillness and Peace and the sunshine and fresh Sea air. So, this communication with you will highlight these gifts that came to me along the way over my three weeks stay here.

Initially, I would like to refer to the quote above from Leo Hartong. “You do not have a life; there is only LIFE and it lives AS you and everything else.” He and I were emailing to each other several years back and this is part of his message to me. It seems that it’s true meaning is coming into full fruition now.

As I am here with Lucas and Cheryl, as a part of their family, I am having the experience of “Life living me and everything else.” And, it is absolutely lovely! The experiences that are happening here are giving me an opportunity to celebrate life in so many different ways, with so many different people and situations. It is difficult to put into words what that is for me. But, my eyes are opening wide to all that is around me and I am seeing that which is living and breathing me now much like a current or wave that takes me from one moment to the next and into whatever expression that comes through me and all around me. It is the "wave" that directed me in what was needed for my family and for AHAM all those years. Bhagavan Ramana says this is "the giver of existence to the whole world"...this Existence that is Consciousness and Bliss...and, "You are THAT." This insight came together like puzzle pieces that have been seen for some time.

It feels so good to have a "finger on" this pulse of Life. It is so Grace-full. It is Pure Love and complete support. From this perspective one cannot help but love every moment of what is happening, no matter what it might be. All that remains now is deep gratitude.

So, let's start here at the Labyrinth, which was constructed on the back lawn of Ocean, in May 2009. It was a group effort and created out of driftwood gathered from the beach just by this center. While walking the labyrinth, one would take a situation or question into the center for completion. It is a very powerful experience and a great way to set the conscious intention for my stay here.

Dennis Gray, Ocean’s “handy man”, was the one who headed up the project up and was the one who climbed up a nearby Douglas Fir to get this picture of the labyrinth. The next picture is taken from another angle including the retreat rooms at Ocean.

The walks on the beach, just out in front of Ocean Resort, have been one of the highlights. Often you would see the cruise ships going north from Vancouver to Alaska.

There are so many "heart rocks" to be found on this beach...what a treasure.

Here are some of the folks that I had the opportunity to spend time with while here...

(Myself, Collette, Cheryl, Tina, Anne, Katherine, Mary.)

Here we are after a Sunday afternoon meditation at Ocean. It was a delightful experience for me, being in the guided process led by Lucas.

This is Carolyn. We met when at an I SIT given here in 2007. Carolyn has been very helpful in this time of "healing retreat" while here at Ocean. She does several forms of special treatments and was able to give me exactly what was needed in this healing process. What a sweetheart!

By the way, if you would like to see a live webcam located close to an eagle's nest here close by, check this out:

http://www.hornbyeagles.com/webcam.htm

Here's Lucas and Cheryl in their living room at Ocean.

I met Lucas in India at an I SIT in 2003. He invited AHAM to come to his resort to do a program and we have done programs here each year since. Lucas has become like a brother to me. I met Cheryl also in India at AHAM's ashram and we became immediate friends. Here is a poem that she wrote while I was here that she gave me permission to share with you...

I choose happiness.

Even when it means I must visit my deepest shadows,

lie sleepless through the dark night and wake weary to the call of love.

I choose happiness.

I welcome all of it.

The pain, the sorrow, the collective grief.

I welcome all of it,

knowing that in the seeing, in the experiencing

I am free.

I choose happiness

and in the joy of just simply being,

the love that I am expresses.

Both Lucas and Cheryl have contributed so much to so many through what has been given here at Ocean. If you would like to get more information on what they provide here go to their website at "oceanresort.ca".

This is Heather and Peter. They both have been to the AHAM programs at Ocean. We spent a lovely evening together walking in the woods and being with all the spring flowers that grow wild in the woods here.

And...we ate at an awesome restaurant called "Locals." The owner and chef is Ronald, who also came to the AHAM programs at Ocean. He came and sat with us at the table ...

As you can see, I am just so happy and love this gift of simply hanging out with my friends here on Vancouver Island. There were many other events and experiences that occurred but this blog has to stop somewhere. My visit here is coming to a close and I will be moving on to Denver, Colorado to be with Richard and friends there.

As I luxuriously sit here on Sunday morning writing to you, what comes up to say is "I Love You so much" and I am so happy to have this huge family of the Heart...that seems to be much more global than I could actually experience from the perspective of the Center in N.C...and, look forward to visiting you ALL, however that can happen.

As you probably have discovered yourself, there is a much bigger picture that is not seen with the naked eye, but can be seen very clearly from the Heart. It may just be a nudge that we feel...not an obvious clue. It is so important that we don't hesitate, but follow it and see where it takes us. Then, we may just get another clue...follow it...the path may then begin to make sense. Just know that in some way we are serving this "bigger picture" somehow in our continuing to follow our Heart. This is where everyone wins...it is certain...happiness for ALL mankind. YES!!

Somewhere Over The Rainbow: Dreams Really Do Come True

(At Kailua Beach, O'hau, Hawaii)

(North Shore of O'ahu)

Somewhere over the rainbow,

Way up high.

There’s a dream that you dreamed of

Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow,

Bluebirds fly,

And, dreams that you dreamed of

They really do come true.

This is a very fitting song for this visit to Hawaii. You can find it sung by IZ, who is a native Hawaiian, click on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I

Above were from a Hawaiian artist, Tabora. To me, his paintings have a mystical feeling to them..."over the rainbow" where dreams really do come true. This is a "dream," isn't it?

I am here in Kailua, on the island of O’ahu. Ted Suga, my host, has taken me all over this beautiful island from shore to shore. I met Ted at I SIT when he came to Vancouver Island, B.C. in 2007. He was born on this island and lived here all of his life.

Everywhere he has taken me is absolutely magnificent! I’ve never experienced anything so beautiful. This is truly a “dream come true,” one that I had wished for, but long forgotten, as a small girl. Isn’t it interesting how what is held near and dear to our Heart does eventually happen, in one way or another.

Here is the mountain of Olomana that is right behind Ted’s home. Every place in Hawaii is sacred, and I can certainly feel that when I look at this mountain. Ted said that it reminded him of Arunachala.

These are the Ko’olau Range mountains, paralleling for 37 miles on the eastern coast of O'ahu island. The range was formed by volcanic erruptions and has an average width of 13 miles (21 km).

Koʻolau Range is a name given to the fragmented remnant of the eastern or windward shield volcano of the island of O'ahu. The last time the volcano erupted was 10,000 years ago. It is not a mountain range in the normal sense, because it was formed as a single mountain called Koʻolau Volcano (koʻolau means "windward" in Hawiian)

What has been the most beautiful experience in being here, on this island of paradise, has been sharing in conscious company with Ted and his friends. We have met Heart to Heart as if we have known each other forever.

Sri Bhagavan says in The Ramana Gita, “On Society” where he shares that society is like one body and it’s limbs are all connected and work together as One. There appears to be difference, but we are all connected at Heart. I am so grateful to have had this very precious time to experience the Oneness in all that surrounds me.

Thank you, so much, Ted, for welcoming me into your homeland and allowing us to all experience it first hand.

One last precious view of the island ... here is the famous Diamond Head, at Waikiki, which is on the other side of the island from Ted’s home.

I am leaving on the 29^th of March for Vancouver Island, B.C., Canada. Lucas and Cheryl and all of our AHAM family on the island will be welcoming us into their corner of the world. Hope to see you there.

Love you all, from the bottom of my Heart.

Aloha!